Lilies
by It Slowly Faded Away
Summary: In the midst of the first war against Voldemort, Molly Weasley says goodbye.


The first thing Molly Weasley noticed upon waking up was the smell of lemons. Not the sweet, sour scent of fresh lemons, ripely split and cut open, ready to be squeezed for lemonade, and not even the scent of bitterness as they clung to people's skin, fingertips burning and tongues savory. No, the scent of lemon that she had was flat. Bismall. It was the thin yet somehow strong smell of cleaning supplies. She knew that is she looked over, she would no doubt find the bottle that such a scent had come from.

But when Molly opened her eyes, she wasn't at the Burrow, the home her and Arthur had bought a few years ago when pregnant with Bill. She was in a hospital room, crammed into a hard, plastic burgundy chair, and before her, snoring softly, was her husband with a bandage wrapped around his forehead and pulled tightly on his forearms. Shifting a little with a frown, Molly struggled to remember why she was here and what had happened. She reached forward and grasped Arthur's hand, curling her own loosely around it and bringing it forward to her face so she could chastely kiss it. Closing her eyes, she caught another scent: that of thick smoke, barely clinging to her husband but there nonetheless. It all came back then.

She remembered the screams first. There had been another raid, this one in Kent. A muggle/wizard community had been attacked by the Death Eaters. Bodies had littered the streets, buildings destroyed, and fire scorching through the air as it took hold of everything. The Dark Mark loomed above it all in the sky, a menacing foe of its own. She shuddered just thinking about it. People had been running. Men guiding each other, women clutching the hands of small children tightly as they struggled to move past, to get away, far away, to anywhere but there. But Molly knew that they wouldn't make it very far, not on foot. The Death Eaters wouldn't let them.

The Order had come with the Aurors and Hit Wizards as fast as they could. It was a massive attack, the community not being very small at all. Molly had been asked to come along. They would need the extra hands, Dumbledore had told her, and when she had arrived with Arthur, she knew they were right. They would need a lot of hands. So instead of her apron and whisk that she armed herself with often, Molly had pulled out her wand and thought back to the duelling lessons of her youth. She was using them more than she had ever feared. The war had seemed far away then, tucked in that dusty classroom with Amber Colen beside her smacking gum, but now it was anything but. She could scarcely remember a time before the war and she wondered, briefly, if this is the world she would have to raise her children in.

The battle had run on for hours it seemed but really, Molly had no idea how long it had really been. He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named favored short, striking, and destructive attacks over the stalemates Grindelwald had preferred and so they were often over as soon as they had started. The only sign of it at all were the corpses that remained. The ash that lingered hours later under her fingertips. Breathing it in once more, she fought the urge to gag, thinking back at the melted faces she had glanced at while running. She wasn't sure she could ever handle birthday candles again.

There had been so much destruction. Duels had taken place all around her and she had struggled to keep up, casting curses and flinging hexes in every direction she saw the masks in. Hardly any of their foes had taken notice of her, casting her off of nonthreatening because Molly Weasley wasn't a warrior she was a housewife and mother.

That had been many of their downfalls.

She had seen young Sirius Black and Remus Lupin in heated battles, both twisting and turning and casting at speeds so beyond her she couldn't even tell you what spells they had flung. They had been too quick for her to note. Dorcas, a dear friend, had been healing those she could, helping up muggles and protecting children with the aid of Marlene and Dodge. Ted Tonks and the elusive Andromeda were sparring with Bellatrix, Andromeda's own sister, trading taunts and jeers and heated glares more than hexes and jinxes. Cornell had been attempting to put out fires and Peter Pettigrew could be seen weaving through masses, guiding and protecting a family as they tried to escape. James and Lily Potter were there too, Lily just as ferocious as her husband as they took on Lucius Malfoy and two other masked Death Eaters Molly didn't recognize. They were a formidable pair, James and Lily, and Molly feared for their safety almost more than anyone's as she knew they were at the front of every battle, two faces the enemy immediately recognized and attacked. They weren't shadows. None of them were. Not like Molly.

But Molly worried about three others more than anyone. Arthur, of course, who rested in the bed safely before her, injured but alive. His chest rising with each painful breath. And then her brothers, Fabian and Gideon.

Fabian and Gideon who had not made it back tonight.

A sob wretched it's way from her chest and she hastily covered her mouth with her unoccupied hand. Her throat tightened and she breathed harshly through her nose. Making a quick retreat into the hall, she gently unlatched herself from her husband. Once the door had closed behind her, Molly making sure it was noiseless so as not to wake him up, she ran her hands through her hair and pulled at the strands, trying to calm the fire that was no longer in the streets of Kent but within her herself. Fabian and Gideon, her brothers. Her brothers who she had watched duel and taunt the Lestrange brothers. Her brothers who she had seen duck and cover and curse. Her brothers who had died right there in front of her. Her brothers whose bodies were guarded by Remus Lupin and Sirius Black had dragged them away, protecting them from the fire the elder brother had tried to torch them with.

"Molly?" A small voice piped up from behind her and she quickly wiped her face of any stray tears that may have escaped and sniffling once, she turned around, straightening her back as if nothing had happened. Lily Potter stood behind her, a burn mark on her face and a variety of cuts all over her body. She had a black eye forming and was looking at Molly with concern.

"A-Are you alright?" The green eyed twenty year old asked her. Molly was suddenly struck in that moment, for some odd reason, that the girl before her was just that. A girl. A child. There were children fighting in this war, children that's generation hadn't started this whole mess but were bound and determined to finish it. Children that were dying and sacrificing everything for this. For nothing. For everything.

Molly forced a shaky smile on her face. "No dear but I suppose I will be. I can handle it, no worries. Now. Should you be out of bed?" She peered sternly over at the girl, using the same voice she used on Bill and Charlie and Percy.

Lily blushed and looked guiltily at her feet. Molly smiled kindly at her, amused.

"Let's get you back in then, dear."  
Together, the pair of them headed into Lily's room, and Molly helped the girl into bed, though she didn't need it, and at Lily's prompting, took the vacant chair.

"Where's James?" She asked.

"He's a few rooms down with Sirius. Remus is in there as well I imagine." said Lily.

"I see. How are you? Nothing too bad I hope?"  
Lily shook her head, flinching a little and bringing a hand to the base of her neck. "Nothing I can't handle myself, Mrs. Weasley."  
"Molly please dear. We're all in this together. No sense for ages and formalities to be in the way." She patted the girl's knee. Lily smiled at her.

"Molly then."

They sat in a comfortable silence, neither feeling chatty after everything that had happened that day. Molly eventually began to stand up to return to Arthur, not wanting him to wake without her.

"Well I best be leaving. I need-"  
"Molly?" Lily interrupted, her voice quiet but demanding anyway.

She looked over at the girl questioningly.

The redhead swallowed thickly. "I'm sorry about your brothers. They were good men. Good people. Good friends."  
Coming from this girl, this petite girl straight from the still warm seats of Hogwarts, Molly felt her resolve crumbling. She had pushed it all aside, not wanting to think about it yet, not wanting to acknowledge the ache she was currently feeling, feigning ignorance as to it's source. But hearing this girl offer her condolences, Molly broke. A broken sob wrenched itself between her lips and Lily didn't even hesitate to wrap her thin arms around Molly, squeezing the older woman close and murmuring apologies that they both knew could do nothing.

Molly was suddenly struck with the realization that they were gone. There would be no one to owl with news or pictures of her boy's latest adventures. No one to Floo over on Yule or bake cookies for on Sunday. No one to prank her on her birthday and receive singing Howler's from. They were gone.

Fabian wouldn't be there to help Bill with charms or to annoy Molly with his insistence that the pancakes have chocolate chips in them every single time that she made them. He wouldn't be there to sneak Charlie a galleon on their trips to Diagon Alley, as rare as they were in these days. He wouldn't be there to laugh and tease Arthur at family dinners they hosted every week and he wouldn't be there to poke fun at her anymore.

Gideon wouldn't be there to pull on the ends of her hair and purposely knock over the exploding snap in her face. He wouldn't be there to give dragon books to Charlie or to bring little trinkets to Percy. He wouldn't be there to hold the laundry basket she forced into his hands or to wink at her whenever he did something bad in front of her kids as she rolled her eyes in mock annoyance.

There would be no more pranks or jokes at breakfast. No more extravagant gifts that her children most definitely did not need. No one to lean her shoulder on when she wanted to cry and not make Arthur feel bad after arguments between the two. No one to hold leverage over or to prank back, the few times she did it. They were gone and they weren't coming back. Ever.

Lily's humming brought her out of her thoughts, as did the quiet "I'm so sorry" that the girl mumbled in her ear. Sniffling hard, Molly pulled back with an apology, wiping her cheeks once more.

"It's okay to cry, you know." Lily told her firmly, looking much older in that moment than she actually was. Molly sniffled. "You don't have to be strong all the time."  
"What?" Molly said hoarsely.

"I cry all the time." confessed Lily. "James cries too. Sometimes with me, sometimes not."  
"You do?" She asked, completely surprised. She knew she shouldn't be but she was. Lily and definitely James didn't strike her as emotional. They were both strong and well put together, more so than she had been at their ages. And she had been a mother already.

"Oh yeah." The girl confirmed casually, as if she hadn't just smeared an image Molly only just realized she had. "All the time. I mean, it's terrifying. War. We could die any day. Any second. And with everyone I care about right at the front lines, right in the thick of it all? I never know what to expect when I go out with the Order or when James is supposed to come home but it's been an hour too long and no one's flooed or owled me anything and I have no idea what's going on. It makes you realize how very small and limitless we really are."  
"You're very brave." Molly tells her after a beat of silence, not sure what else to say but thankful for her words anyway.

Lily surprises her once more by shaking her head. "Not as brave as you. You sit at home almost every time, always waiting with a smile and warm food for all of us when we get back. You take care of everyone and don't ask questions about the raids or hover. But who takes care of you?"  
Molly didn't answer. Lily knew the answer anyway.

"I'm so sorry about Fabian and Gideon, Molly. I can't imagine what you must be feeling." Lily told her, reaching to grab ahold of Molly's hand. She curled her fingers with the other's, happy to grasp onto something, anything.

"No." Molly gasped out, drawing it slow. "No, I don't suppose you can."  
"I have a sister," Lily began hesitantly and sure anyway "and I don't know what I would do if anything were to happen to her. And we don't even speak."  
"Merlin forbid anything befall her. Why don't you speak to each other?"  
Lily frowned. "She doesn't approve. Of . . . well, anything. She hates the magical world. Hates James. Hates me, even." She looked down at her lap.

Molly smiled sadly. "I don't have all the answers, dear, but I know that you shouldn't be afraid to reach out. Try and talk to her, before you don't have the chance to at all anymore." Lily returned the gesture and squeezed Molly's hand.

"Tell me about them?" She said quietly.

After a moment, Molly replied.

"They were . . . light. Arthur, I love him, but sometimes there were moments where I needed my brothers. We grew up together, all of us so close to each other. My parents, bless them, were a bit traditional, always asking about courtships and potential spouses. They wanted to marry me off to a respectable but good family and wanted the twins to provide heirs. I had already found Arthur though and I knew I loved him early on, knew that there was nothing to keep me from him. And Fabian and Gideon, well, they wanted nothing to do with my parent's plans. They weren't ready to settle down, maybe never would be. We all left that life. Together. The very second I told my family I was pregnant with Bill, my father told me to get out. I had disappointed him. My brothers . . . they . . . they came with me. Told my father to "bugger off"." Molly laughed and Lily did as well with her. She chuckled a bit wetly after that. "They never left. Never gave up on me. They didn't hate me or my child. They were the best brothers I could ever ask for.  
I remember all the times they would just Floo on over at random hours, never calling ahead, and invade my kitchen, asking for pastries and soups. I always provided of course. Fabian, he always seemed to want orange juice and bread pudding. Gideon, on the other hand, favored dark coffee and country biscuits and gravy. Naturally, they would come over for breakfast and dessert so they could both be satisfied." She chuckled again, reaching up to wipe at her eyes. Lily squeezed her hand.

"They sound lovely."  
"They are." Molly nodded before halting. "Or, well, they were." She bit back another cry.

"Gideon used to braid my hair, you know." Molly said suddenly. "He'd do it for me every morning before I went to Hogwarts. He stopped when I was eleven and I insisted I could do it myself. I couldn't of course. Not well anyway." She confessed, smiling softly, remembering the soft feeling of her brother's fingers carding through the red strands. "Fabian never said anything about it either. He was just as bad though. Always scaring off boys that flirted with me, well until Arthur anyway."  
"Oh?" Lily asked curiously, grinning. She nodded, amusement coloring her memories.

"Oh yes. Arthur wasn't scared one bit by Fabian and Gideon. Told them off for doubting my ability to choose and defend myself. They liked him real quick after that."  
Lily laughed heartily. "Oh I bet they did."  
Molly nodded. "Yes they . . . they were amazing."  
Frowning sadly, Lily grazed her knee. "I know it hurts right now but . . . it's not over you know? They're still here, with us, with you. With your children. I'm sure your boys will never forget the things their uncles did for them. People leave impressions like that for lifetimes and Fabian and Gideon were, well, unforgettable."  
"That they were." agreed Molly.

"You ever think of kids?" She asked Lily after several minutes had passed in companionable silence.

Lily jolted in surprise. "Me? With kids? Oh I don't know about that. I mean, James and I, were pretty young. Just got married and all. Besides, in this war? I'm not sure I could handle bringing a child into all this." Lily looked back at her hands. "Besides, I'm not sure I'd be a good mom, if I or James am ready for that kind of responsibility. We're just kids ourselves, really." _Yes,_ Moly thought, _yes you are, aren't you?_

Molly placed a hand on her own stomach and smiled warmly at Lily. "Well, I for one think you;d make a great mother."  
Lily smiled back at her but her eyes were drawn to Molly's hand. "Are you-?" Molly hummed, nodding.

"Yes. I just found out last week. I haven't told Arthur yet." She looked down. "I didn't even tell Fabian and Gideon. Now they'll never know."  
Lili squeezed the hand she still had in her own, drawing Molly's attention upward to meet the girl's green eyes and kind smile. "I'm sure they know now. You said they'd never left you right? What's to say they're not here with you now?"  
Molly smiled thankfully.

"Besides," continued the girl, leaning back and letting Molly's hand go finally. "Maybe you have the next Fabian and Gideon in that cargo right there." She nodded towards Molly's belly.

Looking down, Molly said "There will never be another Fabian and Gideon. But perhaps they can be his namesake."  
"His?" Asked Lily.

Molly shrugged. "Just a feeling."  
Lily grinned cheekily. "Maybe you've got twins there and they'll be both of their namesakes."  
Molly laughed loudly, shaking her head. "Heaven forbid. That'd be a nightmare."  
"Fitting end from your brothers then, no?" Lily said.

Smartening up, Molly nodded slowly. "Yeah. Yeah it would be."  
Smiling softly down at the baby already growing inside her, Molly felt a tear slide slowly down her cheek and this time, she didn't move to wipe it away.

 _Goodbye, Fabian._ She thought. _Goodbye, Gideon. I'll miss you._

 **A/N: This was a monthly challenge for a forum I'm in. A goodbye between Molly and her brothers' I hoped you guys enjoyed this oneshot. Maybe I'll add a second chapter later on though. I kind of have an idea.**

 **Thanks for reading. Please review.**


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